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How To Love Your Wife 10 Different Ways : Week 1

how to love your wife

What is it about a man that makes him stop pursuing his wife after the wedding? It’s as if he has his prize, so he no longer feels the need to chase after it.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
-Ephesians 5:25

I realized a few weeks ago that I’m not the loving husband that my wife needs. The good news  is that with a little work and a little faith, I believe God can change me into the man that He desires. He can transform me into a more loving, understanding husband for my wife.

Over the next few months, I will post several articles on how to love your wife.. each article will contain 10 new tips you can apply to your marriage..

Why only 10 at time??

I thought about doing a list of more, but I’m guessing that 10 new ideas are plenty for a husband to try to tackle at once (even that might be overkill). I challenge you to learn how to love your wife as Christ loves the church. If you have some ideas that work in your marriage, I invite you to share them on the comment board. If it’s a great idea, I’ll add it to a future list of How to Love your Wife 10 Different Ways.

How To Love Your Wife – The 1st 10 Tips

  1. Communicate that she is #1 in your life – more important than your friends, work, hobbies, children, etc.
  2. Ask her for her opinion about things, and value what she thinks.
  3. Take regular time to sit with her and talk to her (without arguing).
  4. Listen to her and keep your mouth shut. Don’t lecture… try to understand her.
  5. Be gentle and tender with her.
  6. Learn to understand her sense of humor. It’s probably different than yours.
  7. Comfort her when she is feeling depressed. Hold her. Don’t lecture her (see #4)
  8. When she accuses you of outrageous statements (You NEVER spend time with me!), Don’t defend yourself.
  9. Take time to notice what she has done for the family.
  10. Trust her to buy the things that she considers necessary.

As you read through this list a second time, ask yourself, “Do I do this with my wife?” If the answer is yes, great! Work on perfecting it! If the answer is no, then you’ve identified a weakness in how you treat your wife. Now you know how to love your wife. Use these tips as a guide to improve your relationship.

If your marriage is struggling, remember that healing will take time. She probably didn’t grow cold to you overnight, so you won’t be able to fix it in a day. Marriage isn’t easy, especially if you’ve fallen into a pit. You need to remain patient as you work towards improving your relationship with her.

Come back next week for a new list of ways you can love your wife.

If you’d like to share your experience or add to the list, comment below. If you have a good tip, you’ll probably see it on a future edition of How To Love Your Wife.

Also, Ladies… Am I onto something with this list? Men tend to have a hard time understanding women. Would these things help your husband improve his relationship with you?



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I think that number 3 and number 7 have been the most helpful for me. Just spending time with my wife and then trying not to constantly fix her and judge her – I can tell that makes a difference in her heart.

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Number 7 is especially challenging for me. I’m quick to want to tell my wife how to fix her problem. Once I give her the solution, I think that we can move onto something else. This might work with guys, but women want to know that we understand how the feel.

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