Love Your Children. Stop Hating Them.

Do you love your children? – Raise them up in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

Do you love your children? – Whoever spares the rod, hates his son but he who disciplines him… loves him. (Proverbs 13:24)

Do you love your children? – Do not withhold discipline from a child, if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Hell. (Proverbs 23:13-14)

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Sounds like the questioning Jesus gave Peter in John 21:15-19 when he asked Peter, “Do you love me”, and continued on to say, “then feed my sheep.”

If you love your children, you need to do something about it. You must to discipline them. And not just any discipline, you’re called to spank your kids.

Understanding Your Child’s Nature

Aww.. isn’t your child such a sweet, little angel… No not really. He (or she) is a little sinner. You don’t have to teach a sinner how to sin. You must teach a sinner not to sin. Children are the most dangerous sinners of all because they don’t yet understand right and wrong.

Imagine what would happen if you gave a child a loaded gun, but failed tell him “Don’t point that at people or animals.” Yea… my point exactly.

Children don’t understand something is wrong unless you teach them it’s wrong. Children do what feels good. Many adults do what feels good too, but we also have the knowledge to  make a good choice.

Here’s an example: If you give an adult a choice between a doughnut or an apple, he might choose what is healthy, or he might choose what tastes good. He’ll base his choice on his specific goals and reasoning. If he’s trying to lose weight or be healthy, he’ll choose the apple. But 99% of children will choose the doughnut because it tastes better. They don’t care about the health benefits. I remember watching a video in the 2nd grade about how an apple is healthier than a doughnut for breakfast, but it didn’t change what I wanted. I wanted what tasted good!!

Children only do what feels good.

Love Your Children With the Right Discipline

Your children are a result of your discipline. If they grow up to crazy adults because you “spared them the rod”, it’s your fault. You hated them when they were kids, therefore, they turned out this way. (Proverbs 29:15) “Hate” might sound like  a strong word, but God said it first (Proverbs 13:24). If you have a problem with it, consult God. He wants your children to live a good, Holy life more than you do,  and He’s trying to help you . But you have to agree with Him and follow His instructions. They’ll work better than what the world is teaching. Love your children this way. Satisfaction guaranteed.

Spanking is effective because it doesn’t feel good. You can take something that feels good to a child, such as punching his brother, and make it feel bad by spanking him. A good spanking is both quick and effective. It gets right to the point and addresses the problem. You need to spank your kids.

You might not believe in spanking. Some people don’t believe in Jesus, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is the most effective way (and only way) to avoid hell. Your beliefs are wrong. God said that if you spare the rod from your child, you hate your child. So if you don’t believe in spanking, then you believe in hating your kids. You can love your children by disciplining them.

You should spank your children because it turns something that  feels good into something that feels bad. The child will learn to associate wrong activities with the bad feelings you give them.

Don’t Allow Anger to Fuel Discipline

Have you ever heard this?  “Spanking doesn’t work on my child.”

Yea… me too.

The problem isn’t the spanking. The problem is the way the discipline is handled. Most parents will wrestle back and forth with their children. Ever found yourself in this tug-a-war??

“Don’t do that!”

(20 seconds later)

“I just said don’t do that.”

(15 seconds later)

“Are you listening to me?”

(10 seconds later)

“You better not do that again!!”

(5 seconds later)

“This is your last warning!!!!”

(3 seconds later)

“ONE… TWO…. TWO AND A HALF… TWO AND THREE QUARTERS…”

By the time you get done with this exchange, you’re angry and exhausted. Finally, you spank your child out of anger or desperation.

That’s the problem!! You waited too long. Your child was already so far into the “I’m not listening to you” mode, that nothing was going to change his mind. He was in control, and he knew it!

You should’ve have spanked your child much sooner.

The Two Strikes and Your Out Rule

Forget baseball. Two strikes, and you’re out! Oh… how I love this rule. It will change the behavior of your child quickly, and you’ll save a lot of emotional energy in the process. If you love your children, you must try this.

Here’s how it works. When your child does something wrong, follow through this plan:

• Strike 1: Inform them that they’re misbehaving and they need to stop.
• Strike 2: Remind them that they’re misbehaving and spank them. Rinse and repeat.

Let’s look at the example above with this new method:

“Don’t do that!”

(20 seconds later)

“I told you to stop, but you didn’t stop.” Spank them

Conversation over

You aren’t angry or exhausted, and you just saved some time. In the end, your results are better. You didn’t give your child much time to resist or fight you. You’ll always lose an argument with a child. They don’t fight fair.

A Little Fear Is a Good Thing

You might be thinking, “If I institute the Two-Strikes and Your Out policy, I’m going to be hitting my kids all the time.”

Thinking like that is irrational. Your children hate being spanked as much as you hate spanking them. They’ll learn quickly that this is the new way and that you’re in charge. They’ll understand quickly that they don’t run the household anymore. If they don’t want you to spank them, they need to  obey you. You might have to spank them a lot in the beginning, but it will stop. Your persistence will result in gentler, more obedient children.

Have you ever seen children out in public that are very well behaved?? They sit quietly next to their parents and don’t cause a ruckus. Ever wondered how they got that way?? It didn’t happen naturally. It came from fear. Fear of discipline.

A small dose of fear is healthy for us. We obey the law because we fear being locked up. If there was no consequence for stealing something, why would I work hard to pay for it?

Likewise, your children need to fear your discipline. Once they do, they’ll become obedient children and future law-abiding citizens.

In Review: How to Love Your Children

Let’s review:

• Loving parents raise their children up in the way they should go
• Loving parents don’t spare the rod from their children
• Loving parents are quick to discipline their children

The Carrabba’s Waiter

My wife and I were at Carrabba’s the other night.  Our waiter was a nice, young man (in his early twenties). He stood up straight and was respectful. He was polite and said “Yes ma’am” and “Yes sir”. He was the kind of man you’d want your daughter to marry. Even in the south, that’s becoming more and more rare. He was a new waiter so Natalia encouraged him by telling him that he did a great job, and he was very professional.

And he responded, “My momma raised me right. Well, my momma and a belt.”

Discipline your son, and he will give you rest;
he will give delight to your heart. – Proverbs 29:17

Now It’s Your Turn

If you’ve been struggling to raise your children right, repent and turn to Jesus. He will forgive you of your sin.  I invite you to study scripture for more information on this subject. God wants you to love your children through disciplining them. He has provided you with plenty of information to get the job done the best way.

Tags : children, discipline, Family, Love, Parents